Fathers and sons

Emotion.  My first memory of indoctrination into the male macho mindset was when I was 8.  I had talked back to my father and he hauled off and hit me in my face.  I cried because it hurt (physically....emotionally).  And he said to me "don't be a baby, boys don't cry".  Well, he had a temper, and that was the first of only two times he hit me.  He died when I was 10.  I cried and hurt so much more,  then when he hit me. My sister told me it is ok for boys to cry.   Especially when we loose someone so close to us.  I loved my father unconditionally. He abandoned me.  It still hurts. And I still cry.  And you know what, fuck macho, I'm an emotion all man.  I cry like a girl, I feel like a girl, I have empathy like a girl, and I care like a girl.  This is good, and I feel OK.  Men should not be afraid to be emotional, nurturing and caring.  If we all did this, the world would be a better place.  At least our little part of it. I will find my brothers and sisters who feel the same.....the potential is boundless.   And I still cry for the lost relationship with my dad.