Life with them gone

Part of what made the last few months bearable and helped me recuperate from prostate cancer surgery was having my youngest son home from college for the summer.  He has helped me so much and I don't think he even realizes this fact.  I am fortunate that I have a great relationship with both my boys.  But since my oldest is just about totally out of the house, I depend more on my youngest to get my "son" fix.  

So what has he done for me?   He shows me what living life is all about.  He has a great passion for his music and that is contagious to me.  It reminds me of my youth when music ment so much to me.  He is doing it. He is a music major at CMU.  He loves it.  He enjoys his friends and loves to have a good time, but hardly ever over does it.  He is also quite level headed, especially for a person only 19 years old. This gives him the balance that is so needed in everyones life. (I am thinking about the movie "eat pray love")  I recognize this as so important because my life is extremely out of balance right now.   He loves his mother. Like every good boy should.  It is nice to see that he respects her.  I guess the one thing that I have taught him, is to respect women, of any age.  I know he does, his relationship with is mother shows me that.   

We just drove him up to school this past Saturday and  he was overjoyed to be going back and once again the selfish man in me wished he could stay, but the good father in me knows it is right for him to want to be away at school.  It is OK. Both my sons are out of the house and even my youngest may not stay here next summer.

A good thing though is that he still needs me.  We talk and text and have meaningful conversations about what is going on in his life and occasionally he will ask me for advice.  All I want is for him to be happy and be a good caring man.  

Life with them gone is tough on me sometimes, but I know it is right and I am happy my boys are turning out well.  We have had our ups and downs while they were growing up.  Being a parent is difficult at times, but I have been rewarded by seeing my sons grow into men I am proud to know.